Day 118 - Top 3 Lessons from Independence Day

Not quite a Firework, but Almost as Pretty

The blog posts are coming out less and less frequent, something I actually did expect.  I knew that I would have a ton of excitement at the start, and not as much to do, and then have a lot to do and waning exciting, followed by extreme excitement, following by waning excitement - etc.

It is Day 118.  Nothing particularly special about today.  I started off the day doing super important and exciting work!  First I met with our development team.  A great update meeting, thirty minutes of details and then off to the next task at hand.  Next, I copied all our BOX files to DROPBOX - it nearly cut my file storage costs in half.  It was not the most fun project in the world, but hey - that's the glamourous life of a startup CEO!  More fun followed as I broke down to purchase a licensed version of software so that I could save the hours and hours of work each month - vs. the $60.  ( Time value of money has a different meaning when you have limited money and now limited time!)

The exciting stuff came based on a reflection from my long weekend, with some work thrown in when everyone was sleeping, with my family.  The lessons were the types of cliche messages we all see on memes and on social media, but it was so much more impactful to see it play out in real life.  I can't wait to continue to try to live by these rules at the office - as well as at home.

#1.  Do not dwell on things you do not have control over.

Oh yes, we have all heard this.  But man did it punch me in the face this weekend.  First, if you dwell on something that you have no control over, all you do is provide it fuel.  The fuel allows the anxiety and worry to build and grow - giving the doubts nothing but power over you.  The power steals your energy and time from the things you can have some control over.

So how did this apply to my weekend?  My dear daughter, the youngest, has autism.  She is scared to death of fireworks.  She doesn't like the noise or the lights.  She is going to be 6 years old in a few weeks.  So we KNOW that she doesn't like fireworks.  However, the last 5 years we have dwelled on this fact.  We worried.  We talked about it in front of her and her siblings.  We dreaded the trip, the melt down, the crying, and all the energy we would expend.  This year, we just went to the fireworks.  That's all.  She realized we were there, when we arrived.  She didn't hear all our worries all month long.  She didn't have time to have her own anxiety build.  We did not waste our time or energy dreading this event - we just went.

#2.  Do make efforts to change the things you can control.

You cannot change anyone else.  This is a fact.  You cannot make others feel what you want or think what you want.  You can only change one thing - the way that you react to someone.  This is a big one.  One that I am sure I will continue to struggle with.  However, the power of understanding this is huge.  If you keep having some issue with a vendor or a problem customer - and you do what you always do with them - then nothing changes.  You cannot make them happy.  You cannot make them anything.  But, you can change how you respond to them.  Try it, respond different than you did before - you might actually get a different reaction.

So, continuing my weekend story.  We can't make our daughter not have Autism.  Neither we, nor she, can make her not be overstimulated by light or sound.  However, we can do some things different that the last five years!  Woohoo!  We can bring her favorite cuddle toys.  We can bring her a blanket that she likes to use to cover her head.  We can talk at the fireworks about how fun it will be.  We can coach her siblings on how to support her when she is afraid.  We can hold her and cuddle her and cover her sweet little ears if she wants!  We CAN DO many things, and we used our energy on figuring out some of those things, instead of using it worrying about those things we could not change.

#3.  Be Brave.  Be Very Very Brave.

This one doesn't need a lot of explanation, but it bears saying.  Things are scary.  Change is scary.  Growth is scary.  Very scary.  However, many good things come out of doing things that scare the crap out of us.  If we only do what we have always done, we will be what we have always been.

Enter my little bundle of adorable!  My five, soon to be six, year old is SO BRAVE.  Think about it for a minute.  This little gal struggles with using words to describe how she is feeling.  She knows she is going to hear loud sounds that will scare her.  She knows she will see bright lights that will hurt her eyes.  She knows she is going to have at least 30 minutes of - gosh - maybe terror.  Yet, she did it.  She does this EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!  She sat in my lap, lovies in her arms, blanket over her head, with my hands firmly over her ears for 28 minutes, and then for nearly two minutes, she peeked her little eyes out from under the blanket.  She squinted because the lights hurt her eyes.  You know what she said?  "Wow, this is beautiful!"  She watched as long as she could, then she tucked herself back under the blanket and she continued to be brave!

If this little girl wasn't brave every single day, her other three siblings would have missed something beautiful.  Her 3 year old brother would have missed what may have been one of the best nights of his little life so far.  He LOVED the fireworks.  Wooo!  Wow!  Giggle Giggle - were heard by all in the loudest voice a 3 year old could make.  And my daughter, she would have missed something beautiful.

So my friends.  I encourage you to peek!  Peek, even if only for a minute.  Because if a five year old can be this brave every single day, we can manage it a few minutes a day.  Peek, you will see beauty in your bravery!

CEO of a Startup